querida

Last post.

2009-12-26T15:44:00.002+08:00

I guess it's time to officially declare that this will be the last ever post for this blog. I won't delete this blog cause it holds too many memories for the past five years (like omg, i just realised that!). You have no freaking clue how much I laughed while reading my older posts. Hahha.

Time for a change. A new blog awaits for me to continue penning my thoughts. And if I'm nice, I'll put down the new link. Hahha.

Ok, that's all I guess. You've served me well, blog.
Goodbye!

"You have to let go, to move on."

Terribly wrong.

2009-12-22T22:43:00.003+08:00

Everything and everyone's changing. And the suckiest thing, is that I don't know how to put up with it. Sigh.

Sorry people, I'm just too uninspired to write anything else.

One month.

2009-10-10T21:57:00.003+08:00

Can't find the right word or whatever to describe the state I'm in right now. Let's just say that the stress, the pressure, the anxiety, the lethargy, the mental exaustion, the disappointment, the apprehension, the doubt, the fear, the whatever word with negative connotations you can think about, is overwhelming. How not to when subconsciously Muse's Time is running out is playing repeatedly at the back of my head. (Oh and btw check out their new album, The Resistance. It's fucking awesome I swear!)

I'm scared. I'm shit scared right now. Somehow, panic always sets in at the wrong timing. Argh. Nevermind that cause I don't wanna talk about it. I've been telling myself, "I can do this man, I can do this I can do this, and I will!". That's like my mantra now. Like what Barney said, who else would say that to you if not yourself. She's right, I can't depend on just anyone. It's all becoming too, how should I say this, too overwhelmingly competitive? I was right when I said every man is for himself. Lies, lies I tell you. But I'm not surprised man. We're only human. I am, they are, you are.

God, I pray to you. Give me the strength. Give me the emotional, and mental strength to face the upcoming obstacles left for the following month or so. Amin.

Sigh.

2009-09-13T03:16:00.003+08:00

I've asked myself,
how much do you commit yourself?

3 things.

2009-08-15T21:58:00.003+08:00

I really wish I had the power to stop the time.
I feel abandoned, betrayed, anything along that line.
And, I'm really not okay.

I don't really use this but FML now.

It's harder than I thought.

2009-08-01T00:27:00.002+08:00

Everything's picking up speed. Time is running out. The drive is finally out as motivation's going strong. Temptations aside as desire overwhelms. Since messed up head already recollected, directions are finally clear. Assholes that needs to be dealt with, on hold as priorities comes first. Apologies to mates in advance if unable to attend future events. Although lethargy is inevitable, the key is to embrace and sustain. And to always remember one important thing, 'Every man is for himself'.

August is here. Come the 20th, it'll be the fasting month. Left with approximately 3 more months, 100 more days. It will be a testing period.

I'll just keep it simple.
Away on study break, hiatus it shall be!

You're in ruins.

2009-07-17T22:05:00.004+08:00

I think being cooped up at home for an entire week has left me depressed, deprived, irritable and, let's just say I can literally bite anyone right now. There is soo much I want to talk about but I can never seem to jot it all out. Same problem as writing a bloody essay for me. Soo much things to say, but too little to write. So before all the things I want to say get messed up in my head and left me fluttered, let me just, very well, list down a few important ones.

1) WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU. Can you please stop what you're doing cause it's driving me insane! Big words. Big fancy sentences. BIG DEAL. It all sounds distorted anyway. Get your own fucking ____ and stop leeching on others! To think we actually came from the same school.

2) WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR? Friends for benefits? Fuck you. There's nothing more I can say except another fuck you. Stop being a pain-in-the-ass poser that everyone can't seem to stop complaining. Seriously.

3) I WILL PROVE TO YOU. Yes, I will prove you wrong bitch. And I really wonder what's up with you now. Where are you now? All high and mighty, or down in deep shit? Cause I can vividly recalled what you said, that you're definitely better than me right? You're up there and I'm down there. I swear I'll prove you wrong man.

In case anyone out there reading this post thinks I'm referring to you, don't flatter yourself too much. I'm not referring to you, unless you're dead on target. And that can only happen if you have a superpower that can read my messed up head.

I thought I could contain all this inside. But I can't anymore. It's bubbling out. And I wish I could take it out on you right now instead of typing it all here.

The stress is not helping at all.

Shake it like a polaroid.

2009-07-13T20:08:00.002+08:00

Polaroids

Guess what? Fever of more than 38.0 degrees celcius, coupled with flu symptoms, in my case is all four of them, will get you a week's mc from school. Yes, you read that correctly. I'm on a week's mc and the only time I can go to school is next week. Blame it on swine flu man. I honestly don't know whether to be happy or not. Cause I'm suppose to get back my prelim papers this week, not that I'm looking forward to it though since I'm gonna get screwed upside down by my tutors anyway. Hah!

Anyway, I'm feeling much better now cause my fever has gone down but the body ache is still there being a bitch. Imagine waking up in the morning having a lil bit of breathing difficulty and when you move your body it felt as if you had took part in a wrestling match the night before. Soo pain can? :(

Oh and friday was such a blast. As how zee puts it, best buds + movie + polaroid + shisha = FUN. And I love my mini polaroid camera can? I know you guys love it too right? Hahha. Thank god I've found it ever since it's been missing for god knows how long.

And just yesterday, slack day with the hommies. I've finally watch transformers(i know, loser right?) after weeks since its been released. Anyhoo, main point of yesterday was to spent time with the hommies since we haven't done this for a very long time. And to get me ready for school but now look how that turned out to be. Ahh well.

Try fry cry pry.

2009-07-06T01:38:00.005+08:00

You know, sometimes trying hard is not enough. No, let me rephrase that. Trying hard is never enough. Because you know why? The phrase is 'trying hard'. Try is a verb. And if you were to go to dictionary.com and type 'try'..

Try (verb)
1. to attempt to do or accomplish

See? Attempt. Given the complexity and the power of the human mind, and of course not forgetting the fluctuations of the human behaviour, we will only attempt. Attempt to do, or attempt to accomplish. And amidst all these attempting, nothing is actually done. Or accomplished, no? Or whatever other synonyms you wish to put here. The main point here is that there is no 'final product', depending on what you define it in the first place.

Sometimes I wonder. Okay, I lied. All the time I wonder, why in the blue hell am I doing what I am doing right now? I've questioned myself a million times. And the answer is always clear, obvious even. But there's something missing. Which really is literally missing you know. Heart? Soul? Nobody knows. You don't either. Well, maybe I do. A little.

I came across this quote,

"Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get."

-Anonymous

So want the things you get and you're happy, huh? As easy as it may sound and how often people portray life as a bed of roses, it's never really that simple you know. You have to consider the thorns. You have to consider what you got in the first place, no? Contented is indeed very rare as oppose to greed in man.

Alright, it's already one thirty in the morning. I'm babbling shit, then chem's not getting in the stubborn head, math is just plain annoying, and human geog is a pain in the ass. You must wonder what rubbish I'm writing but I tell you what,

"You don't write because you want to say something; you write because you've got something to say."

-F. Scott Fitzgerald

Hahha. I don't think there's a link but whatever man, I find this quote really cool yo.

I say.

2009-06-18T23:09:00.001+08:00

Screwed, is my middle name.
Le sigh.

Five people, four hours.

2009-06-17T23:25:00.001+08:00

I think I look real geeky with my new black Levi's specs that my dad just blew 300 bucks for. What can I say? I have expensive taste for fine products like this one? Hahaha.

Study session at republic poly earlier on. Okay, it wasn't just a study session ah. That, I have to admit. There was a hell lot of humour man that I almost teared from laughing. Hahha. I was anxious as we stepped into their territory with us all wearing the school uniform. Some were practically staring daggers at us(even from the bus interchange!), wondering what the heck these bunch of jc kids were doing at their territory. I swear if there is ever a fight that's gonna break out due to whatever known logical reasons, I won't be scared. Cause we have a muay thai fighter, cheerleaders and hockey player! Eh okay, I dunno whats the cheerleaders' gonna do ah but at least they're there? Hahha.

And sorry sexy we just had to prank you. It's a one time thing so please don't be paranoid and continue sulking. We are still your true friends! Hahaha =D. And and there was no mastermind. Everyone had a role to play so you people can stop pointing fingers to each other okay? Nyehnyeh. Anyhoo, you guys should watch the video once it's been uploaded on facebook. It's funny shit, I SWEAR.

Alright, as much as I hate this, back to the books!

My future?

2009-06-11T22:12:00.004+08:00



		I will marry M.
		After a wild honeymoon, We will settle down in Stolkholm, Sweden in our fabulous House.
		We will have 9 kid(s) together.
		Our family will zoom around in a lime green subaru.
		I will spend my days as a fashion designer, and live happily ever after.

WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
HOW I WISH MAN, HOW I WISH. =D

Change will come.

2009-06-09T22:21:00.001+08:00

Starbucks is sucking me dry man. Really, it does. Maybe I should stop leeching for a space there and get my butts seated in the civics library man. Time for a change man, time for a change.

I've been thinking. I've been thinking a whole lot. There's this uncertainty in me. The uncertainty of what is to come. What the future holds. At the rate I'm going, I should be worried of the consequences of my actions, and how it's gonna affect me later. Chances of getting into a decent university is undeniably tough. Even if you get a relatively decent grade, it's not enough. It's never enough. For instance, to get into Architecture in NUS, seemed like an impossible move. From what I heard, the recent intake was what, 200? And the number of malays that was admitted, was relatively low. Only an odd handful. This goes to show that it's highly competitive out there.

But what am I doing now? I know the facts. I've heard other's woes. I've seen what I have to see these past few months. But what am I fucking doing right now?

I can't keep on kicking up an excuse to why I'm behaving like this. I'm not oblivious to the facts out there. I guess I choose to ignore it. Turn a deaf ear. Be contented. Be complacent. Succumb to my illogical and unacceptable tendencies to do the wrong things. I can't keep running away from this. From all of this. I know I should do something about it. Aw heck, my instincts are telling me to start taking actions. Start now, when I still have the time. There's a gazillion of things to do, to keep me fucking busy for the next six months. But, I can't get my ass moving. I haven't really started the engines. I tried but I can't! What is wrong with me? Seriously?

I talked to my hommie today, and boy am I glad that I did. She's right. Whatever she said is totally right. I have to start planning. To plan smart on the things I should be doing, somewhat like a target for the major A's. And yes hommie, adam khoo's worshop sucks man. Hahha. But that's besides the point. I have to start taking actions. It's seriously easy to say so but to actually do it, is bloody, annoyingly difficult.

I have to find various source of motivation. To keep me going, to keep me focused on the things that I should be doing, to get the things I want to achieve. Regret is the last thing I want to ever feel at the end of this year, like how it was for me about two years back. I am determined. But I guess my determination is always short-lived. I really envy those who could set their minds at something and go all out to get it done. I have to learn from them. I have to buck up, pull my socks and start getting things done. And stop coming up with lame ass excuse on whatever i could think of.

I'm just mad at myself. And I'm trying hard to battle all this. They're right. I'm conflicted. I need a whole lot of motivation people. And I know I can count on my hommies(thankshommiesloveyouallloads!) for that, classmates and dedicated tutors for that matter.

I want this badly. I really want this badly.
And it has to begin with, me. Wake up.

Tomayto tomahto.

2009-06-03T00:26:00.000+08:00

I think facebook is evil. And while I'm at it, I think the internet is evil too. This is because I'm always running back to the notebook for god knows what, and ends up wasting precious time. I won't console myself cause if I did, I'ld continue to do what I'm doing.

Which is bad, you see. Bad. A big fat disaster awaits if I'm still stubborn to succumb to my procrastinating susceptibilities. Hahha.

Maz's 19th.

2009-06-02T02:01:00.004+08:00

Dinner and games @ Mind Cafe

Mind Cafe with the loved ones on sunday night was fun! I'm pretty sure all of us laughed our ass out loud till the other patrons were looking at us. Hahha. And it's surprising how we managed to struggle between eating our food and playing the game. And taking photos as well! Multi-tasking man, you gotta learn how to multi-task. Lol.

The unfamiliarity of the game was the fun part. Out of all the games we played, I like the 'The Wrong Game' the most cause all of us were pretty much shouting the random answers in out head! Like for instance how Jeremy kept on shouting "PIG!" to all the questions which was irrelevant of course, and the most common one was when the rest of us were answering the questions correctly when in fact it was suppose to be answered wrongly. And this somewhat happened when it was my turn to ask the questions. I can't remember who said what though, but I know Jin hui said the last one! Lol.

"What do you bring with you for camping?"
"TOILET"
"Correct!"
"Eh, cannot! How can you bring toilet for camping?!"
"Oh ya hor"
"Oh, oh! TOILET ROLL!"
"Correct!"
"Ey, cannot lah. Same like toilet what!"
"Then what?"
"PARENTS!"
"..."
"HAHAHAH!"

Ouh and of course, how could we ever forget how someone suck at playing UNO Stacko. No wait, any game for that matter! Hahha, just kidding! I still love you ah woman! =D

Moving on to today, study date with Prada Flamingo at Starbucks. A record of 6 hours? Nah, done more than that. It was pretty productive, I must say. More study dates okay, Prada? We have to grab Versace Vuitton as well! Lol. (Inside joke)

Alright, ton's of work to be done, but I'll need my sleep first! I think my bodyclock is screwed, literally. Kay, ta-ra.

Blu Jaz.

2009-05-24T20:41:00.007+08:00

With the birthday girl. =)

The party people!

The long awaited post huh? Like finally I get the time to blog. Hahha. Anyhoo, Amanda's 'Dress to kill' party at Blu Jaz cafe on friday night was such a blast! Camwhoring the night away thanks to the 2 Canon DSLR. Literally whoring man! Allll of us! Hahhaha. Thanks for everything A, the food and all! Love you! Mwahh! =D

Alright, more peektures on FB. Just waiting for another batch from darling V!
Back to the unceasing workload! Hah! =3

I need caffeine.

2009-05-17T20:10:00.002+08:00

Just how am I suppose to ever survive without caffeine? I can't man, I can't!
I need caffeeeeiiinnnneeeee. ='((((

Jaded.

2009-05-09T21:15:00.004+08:00

Yesterday's gathering at my tutor's place was fun. Even though I was exhausted since it was the end of the week, I wouldn't miss this gathering for nuts. But before that, went to watch the boys hockey match since I promised the 'star player' I would if they made it to the quarter finals. Hahha. Stepping into delta seems to bring back a whole lot of memories, back when I still played hockey for awhile. How could I ever forget that man. Lol.

Anyhoo, homework's a bitch this week but thank god Monday's a public hol. I need to sort out everything, fast. Both my workload and my messed-up head. Sometimes I think that I think too much.

Nihility.

2009-05-03T17:23:00.003+08:00

My neck hurts. My neck hurts. My neck hurts. For the past two days and I don't even know why. The reason the doctor gave was that I sat too long and also due to stress that causes the build up of pain at the back of my neck. And the best thing is, he told me to stay at home to rest and gave me a mc for tomorrow. Sigh.

I should stop terrifying myself about the nonexistence. And I should stop stressing myself over nonessential things. Half a year's gone. What have I done?

And I should seriously abandon this place. Urgh.

Vanity of vanities.

2009-05-01T00:13:00.004+08:00

Never be captivated by words or actions.
Live life the way you're living it.
Don't let you mind, body and soul be controlled by others.
Believe in yourself, believe in your eyes.
Believe in your power, and nothing else.

Six months.

2009-04-25T21:44:00.000+08:00

For the whole entire week, I was inevitably cranky, bitchy, and in a constant pissy mood. I can't say that I was not agitated by the littlest of things cause I certainly did, and will do so in the future(don't say I didn't warn). So to all that was affected or felt my wrath, deepest apologies. It was unintentional and you were either at the wrong place/time. Blame it on all the shitload of work, and my heightened emotional triggers whatever it was. I'm still trying.

Anyway, ptm last night was alright. I really do have to reflect on the feedbacks my tutors gave. Cause whatever they said was true indeed. I have to, and will do the things I set my mind at. I want it badly. I really really do want it badly man. Six months left. That's how much longer, how much precious time left. And it all depends entirely on what you do for that period of time. I know its funny how I still can't get over the fact that what you do now, will affect or change or even mould the life, the future you want to have. Somehow, I know what I want. It's just a matter of whether I can get what I want. I just have to be reminded all the time.

Sometimes I really wonder why people choose to do the things they do, the choices they make in life. Do they even weigh the consequences, or simply just act on impulse? Cause the choices they make are usually short-term. They never spare a thought of what may perhaps happen in the future as a result of their own decision. Urgh. I don't know why I bother myself with these things when I have my own life to deal with.

I need to straighten out my messed up head.
Any advice, guardian angel?

Apple crumble, nutty fudge and oreo.

2009-04-19T11:50:00.005+08:00

A.V.A

Friday, after school with my favourite bimbos. Where do I even begin? From the man with the disgusting gun shot wound on his thigh, to the girl with the hair that looks as if an atomic bomb had dropped on her head, and to the guy who was looking for his blind date in MacDonalds! Yes, I know! Blind date at Macdonald? Hilarious man! I swear the three of us laughed our ass off as if there is no tomorrow. There's a fourth strange encounter also but I forgot what it was. Hahha. I love you girls uh!

Anyhoo, I'm soo screwed for next week. That's because I have three freaking tests next week and I haven't really prepare myself for it. And piles of assignments to be done. Besides, my killer cramps is soo not helping at all as it renders me helpless, unproductive, and bawling my eyes out in pain. How man? Hoooooow? I'm sort of panicking and stressing myself out. And apparently I'm not the only one, right Chang Horng? So, let's all take a deep breath and calm ourselves down okay? We are gonna survive next week! Gambate! Hahha.

A smile, and I fell.

Fair and square.

2009-04-16T22:09:00.000+08:00

Don't.
Don't start.
Don't make me regret.
Don't make me wish for it.
Don't fuck with me.

Just don't.
Fair enough?

Where's my drive?

2009-04-12T00:16:00.003+08:00

I should seriously sit my sorry ass on the study table and start working on my assignments and revision right now. Why does it seem as if that is impossible to do so? I need a plethora of motivation. And maybe a senseless beating/nagging or something to get my ass moving. I can have 'procrastinator' as my middle name if I continue on like this man. Bitchslap me please when you see me on Facebook. My numero uno enemy! Arggghhh.

And one more thing, where's bnd?!
Where are yoouuu? =((

Lions for lambs.

2009-04-04T20:23:00.002+08:00

They pulled the trigger, and I was shot.
But now I'm back, back alive.
Cause if he can do it, why can't I?

It all makes sense now. It all makes perfect sense.
I gotta do, what I gotta do to.

Conflicted.

2009-03-30T19:08:00.004+08:00

I guess it all boils down to what I'm feeling right now. There's so many different emotions of varying degrees, conflicting with one another that I thought would never ever be possible. I want to pour it all out, but I just can't find the right words. Ya get what I'm saying?

And one things for sure, I'm trying to brush off this accumulating hatred cause I don't wanna be a despicable comrade. Nuff said.

You know what they all say, "You just have to wake up at the right moment". But tell me this, WHEN is the fucking right moment goddammit?

Someone, enlighten me on this one, puhhleasee.
Told you I'm conflicted.

Feel the need.

2009-03-27T22:24:00.000+08:00

The clique.

Yesterday, went out with the clique to unwind ourselves after the week long torment. We just feel the need to celebrate the temporary liberation before all the nightmare starts again. And hell yeah we did! We watched 'The Unborn' since I insisted we watched a horror movie cause I wanted to scare the shit out of myself. And oh boy, how well that turned out. Hahha.

It was actually quite funny cause not only were the girls screaming, the boys had their fair share also. Pussy sia you guys. Hahhahaha. But the movie was beyond my expectation cause usually the only scary movies are the thai horrors. Oh and you know what, all of us had the post-horror movie effects cause all of us kept on imagining things and really do scare the shit out of ourselves. Some can't even sleep that night cause they got too scared. You know who you are! Hah! And apparently, I was not the only one who got scared while showering this morning and looking at the bathroom mirror. Hahahha.

Alright enough about horror, some snapshots to horrify you! You know we love to camwhore! Nyehnyeh.

Pun of the day by boey: "How far, is asfa?"
Hahhahhaha.

Crest fall en.

2009-03-25T23:47:00.001+08:00

Blocktest was a nightmare. I am soo not looking forward to seeing my crappy answer scripts cause I pretty much screwed all my papers. I can't remember the various reaction reagents and conditions for chem. I can't comprehend what macro econs is all about. And I still can't see the link for globalisation in geog. I don't know man. Am I screwed or what?

The only consolation I can get is that I'm not the only one and that there's others in the same situation. But somehow, this does not make me feel any better at all.

I don't know what I'm doing anymore.
Star program. Ahhh.

Meditate.

2009-03-19T20:50:00.003+08:00

Inflamed throat. Annoyingly persistent coughs. On and off fever. And drowsiness. The best feeling you could ever get right before your major tests. It's becoming a ritual. How ironic.

I'm soo screwed. How am I suppose to cover everything before next week? I'll need at least a 48 hour per day man, if that is ever possible. So Dear God, help me fill in all those ghastly and merciless theories/formulas/facts&figures inside my really, extremely to the max, stubborn head. And also, make bnd appear out of nowhere again, just like the other time! I'm bereft of motivation. =(

My 33 bucks better get me well before Monday, doc.
Ciao. Happy studying people!

Cause I don't want you to know, who I am.

2009-03-16T22:53:00.003+08:00

Imagine.
6 hours of organic chemistry, back to back.
And I'm still sane.

Or not.

Ho ho ho.

Etwos.

2009-03-16T00:18:00.000+08:00

2E2 - All grown up!

My weekends were rather pointless and unproductive. I pretty much wasted the entire weekend. But it's alright, there's still time. I'll compensate the lost time on another day.

School work aside, meet up with the fajar gang for dinner on sunday. It was nostalgic man. Hahha. I can't believe how much I miss each and everyone of them! And all of their nonsense! Okay, maybe not Shi hui's violent but unpredictable 'attacks' (eh my jaw pain leh! your elbow ah!). Hahhahaha. It's good to finally be able to catch up with one another and reminisce the old times man. How can I forget I got hit on the jaw by a flying presumably dead snail? And of course the pungent decomposed leftover food from home ec lesson that was left for weeks in the classroom? Everybody almost puked man. Hahhhaha. Totally classic. Good ol' times man, good ol' times.

Alright, more meet ups okay people(provided i'm free ah =D)! Meanwhile, more pics will be uploaded once I get them, either here or FB.

19th.

2009-03-12T21:04:00.006+08:00

Zaza's toothsome cupcakes!

A big fat thank you to all for all your birthday wishes and hugs! Be it through sms, facebook, msn or wishing it personally to me! The thing is, I didn't expect it from some of you. I truly feel loved! Hahhaha.

And of course, surprises after surprises. It really did come about as a surprise this time, unlike last year when my adorable mom gave it all away. You people should know what I'm talking about. Hahha.

First up, late surprise lunch at Swensens with the three ravishing ladies - Pam, Siti and Fadilah. We had to settle for a late lunch since Pam had soccer and I had to go for MC. Anyway, thank you girls for celebrating my birthday! And also the gifts you guys got for me! I really do love it all!

Lunch @ Swensens - F.A.P.S.

Next up, surprise massive snacks in the locker! Thank you to my two favourite bimbos - Van & Amanda, and Russ & Qi, for the different snacks of different flavours. Don't worry, I'll bring the snacks for all of us to eat during lecture okay! Oh and yea, thank you Ravin for chasing out that big fat squirmy lizard out of the locker. That damn lizard gave me a pleasant surprise as well. I hope my shrieks of disgust wasn't conspicuous to any, especially those having cca in the track or field near the locker. Hahhaha.

And finally, a big fat thank you to my homies for the surprise later that night! The cupcakes are too cute that I can't bring myself to eat it! Hahha. You know how much I love you both, nuff said.

And oh yes, to whichever siblings of mine who is reading my blog discreetly, a big fat thank you for the awesome limited addition Puma watch! I love you! =D

Alright, gotta sleep. Gp blocktest tomorrow.
I'm in a deep shit.

Optimism.

2009-03-07T21:51:00.003+08:00

I'm totally terrified of whats to come.
But I'm motivated. Yes, I am.

Unclear.

2009-03-01T17:36:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I questioned the choices I make in life. And the 'what ifs'.
Sigh. I'm stressed. And the rain is soo not helping. It's making me depressed.

Get the facts right.

2009-02-28T23:53:00.004+08:00

You know what I absolutely abhor the most? Is to be misunderstood. To be accountable for the wrong reasons. To be pointed at for the things that I myself didn't even do. To be fucking wronged.

If you're oblivious to the facts, then there's nothing much I can do. Bottomline is I didn't, and I'm not trying to shift the blame. I admit, I do have my bitchy side. But as far as a bitch I can be, I'll never be a low-life backstabbing bitch. Cause besides being wronged, that is one of the things I can do without in my life. These are the facts. Get it right.

Emotions are fluctuating to the extreme. Every little things pisses me off. I think I'm getting too stressed up with the workload. Cause I'm lagging behind and I need to catch up fast before even more work piles up right before my eyes. A few more weeks to blocktest and I can already feel myself pushing the panic button. Pulling an all-nighter tonight. If I can stay awake that is. God, my eyebags are gonna come crawling back to the spot tomorrow. I'll need another 12-hour sleep to get rid of those nasties again. Sigh.

Generally, I'm a happy kid. But on the flipside, it's the opposite. I miss barney, I miss travis. And I certainly am missing my hommies indefinitely. =(

What's inside.

2009-02-21T23:49:00.000+08:00

I hate to be told what to do. And I especially hate to be annoyed when I'm already pissed. Cause you may never know when I might just fucking snap. Literally.

When I'm serious, I mean business. Get that. It applies to all.

Untitled.

2009-02-19T00:14:00.005+08:00

I think I'm ________.
There I've said it. Hahahhahahahah. =x

Gray.

2009-02-18T00:43:00.003+08:00

I didn't know that a two-day leave from school, because of food poisoning, could be a major pain in the ass. Besides the vomitting and countless visits to the washroom, it made me lag behind the others. Be it any subject in any case. And the thing is, I hate to do the catching up. It really sucks cause I have to put in a little bit more effort and well, just basically do more work. Urgh.

Two more test due this week. Previous week's chem test was, I admit, better that usual whereas math test was sucky. The one I had today was not an exception. It's funny cause I usually do better in math test than chem and this time round it's the exact opposite.

Anyway, I'm tired and I'm sleepy but I can't sleep yet cause half my work is not done. Every other night is somewhat the same old routine. Then you'll catch me falling asleep in lectures and end up with illegible scribbles on the notes. Hahha.

And ya, classmates are going crazy playing the playfish game in facebook. Apparently they're really very free. And I'm pretty annoyed they beat my score record. It's okay, I'll get back at them in class. Hahha.

And before I go, to Barney, I miss you too so come bring your sorry ass to Champions Way. And stop calling me a minah cause I certainly do not fit under the bill, you big purple dinosaur!

Zee and J's party.

2009-02-08T18:39:00.006+08:00

Last night's bbq birthday party was awesome fun. I totally enjoyed myself with the beautiful people there. Hahha. To Zee and J, I hope you love what we got you kay?

No details about the party cause I'm lazy to so just a few peektures will do. Hee. =DD

The party people.

Pic of the day =D

More peektures on Facebook.
Back to work!

Mind over matter.

2009-02-03T23:00:00.003+08:00

Something's amiss. But the thing is, I don't freaking know what is.
Best feeling ever.

January's gone.

2009-01-30T17:36:00.000+08:00

I can't believe how a month had passed. January is practically gone. Just like that, like a blink of an eye. And what have I done so far? Nothing much. Nothing productive. Nothing worth to even mention about. Progress? Hah.

I deserve a slap on the face after today. I really do. Only a page essay for timed assignment? There's no excuse this time cause time is not to be blamed. My slow writing, my inability to brainstorm fast and bullshit my way off, my poor language, and the messed up points in my indecisive head. That pretty much sums up the reasons behind my fucked up one paged essay.

That's not all. The Maclaurin test on the last period. How can I not remember that damn standard formula after practising on it just weeks before? I think out of the 25 minutes paper, I could only get that measly 2 marks for that simple shown question.

This serves as a reminder to me. Of how complacent and ignorant I've been for the month of January, ah heck, the previous months as well. And today, I can say that I'm demoralised for the first time this year. I guess this was the 'feeling'. The sense of hopelessness, the dispirited sensation, that my persistent gp tutor kept insisting we should feel in order for us to start our engines roaring. And how true he is.

From today onwards, I will be a better student. I will not be a sloth that I am and (I hope) was, and mug hard. I will do whatever it takes. And I know its gonna be hard cause saying it all is easy really, but to take action is a hundred times harder.

Timeline.

2009-01-26T22:57:00.000+08:00

(Clockwise from top left: R-J-R-CH-SQ-A)

Sorry guys, I just have to put up your spastic faces taken by J up here to share with everyone. I'm sure you're gonna laugh at it as much as I did. Hah!

Anyway, this week marks the third week since school resumed. I was relieved that we had the four days break due to the chinese new year festive. I was contemplating on going out on one of the days but I eventually brushed off the idea since I've plenty of school work to deal with. Besides, there's few meet ups all lined up for the week after and I rather get my work done by this week at least. So, the four day break that should be spent wisely on work was, well, failed. Cause silly me just had to procrastinate a whole lot and spent the time (wisely indeed) on the much needed sleep. Now I'm back at square one. Hahha.

Moving on, I was just browsing through my old photo albums. From kindergarten to primary school, to life in Fajar, and till now. I swear I almost had a fit laughing at each photo as I vividly recalled the memories that was triggered. One disastrous or pretty much embarrassing event to another. Hahha. And I realised, I miss them all. The moments in the past. The many friends I had lost touched with, and also those growing apart and still do now even as I type all these down. It's a bit sad though, but that's the fact of life I guess. It's not that my current life sucks now, albeit life in J2 sucks. School rocks with the good company yo! It's just that it's different. It's all different than the last time.

I can see the major changes that took place, the different phases in my life. Like, literally see. And I'm sure as hell that there's bound to be more changes up ahead. Especially so in the unprecedented future. I have to admit, it's kind of scary. Scary in a good way eh. But ironically, I'm anticipating it. For whatever there is to come.

Alright, enough of my gibberish. Enjoy the rest of the four day break people. And I shall attempt(hardy har har) my undone/untouched assignments. Happy Chinese New Year to the chinese folks!

I need more than a glimpse of you.

Funny shit.

2009-01-17T21:18:00.006+08:00

More Web knick-knacks? Go to www.happeepill.com

My siblings showed me this cartoon which is super hilarious. It's kind of sadistic in a way, but it's soo true. Hahha. This one is my ultimate favourite cause it's about the useless mats in our society. You have to listen to the mat sing(the song's in malay tho). There's two others that are quite funny also, the student one and the ah beng cartoon, so just click on the link. I highly recommend teachers out there to watch the student cartoon. Stress reliever perhaps? Lol.

Alright, laugh your ass off people.

Phew.

2009-01-16T22:48:00.003+08:00

Alas the weekend has arrived! You have no idea how relieved I am to finally be able to catch a breath and some well deserved sleep. It's only the first week of school and I'm already worn out. It's not that my timetable this year is super sucky or anything like that. In fact, most of the school days my classes end surprisingly early and I'm soo very thankful for that. But because of the piling assignments and deadlines, I've been sacrificing the much needed sleep. And that explains the unavoidably growing-permanent fugly eyebags. Tsk.

And for the first time, I didn't touch my notebook for a good whole week. Hah! It's that busy. Even my cat is craving for my attention since she tries to grab my leg everytime she sees me. Well I have to say, I have a pretty good feeling for what's to come. I thank god for finally getting me a whole set of good tutors this year. It's the best way to start the new school year. Lol. And yes, the company in school is as awesome as usual.

Now back to sleep, and resume work thereafter.
Much loves cyberworld.

Complacency gets you nowhere, and that's the problem with us all.

Not making any sense.

2009-01-11T22:50:00.004+08:00

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

In approximately eight hours time, schools gonna start! I can't believe this but i'm scared. Super scared! Pre school jitters ah.

So I should sleep right, like now. Cause my body clock is still as screwed since it's attuned to waking up super late and sleeping in even later. But but but, there's the Manchester United vs Chelsea game at midnight! So how can I sleep now?! Cannot! That match is a MUST WATCH!

Hahahha. God, I sound like a minah man. I don't know which part made me sound like that, but it made me sound like them minahs! Hahha. Kay kay, clearly i'm not in the right mind now cause i'm talking gibberish.

So, tata. Good luck to me on the first day of school. Pfft.

Goodbye, Travis.

2009-01-09T11:53:00.005+08:00

My loves, and I heart them all =))

Thusday was the farewell lunch at Swensens for our dear Ryan since he's leaving us for America. And the next morning was his flight, which I couldn't make it since I had to be in school by eight for that goddamn stupid open house that not even a miserable soul turned up for (Yes, it was that pathetic and I won't talk about it). Nevertheless, I had bid my goodbye to him. But stupid me forgot to take a last photo with him before he left. Sigh.

He should be all settled there by now. I'm like soo gonna miss him once school starts man cause it won't be the same like last year with the rest. He better read my card on the plane like I told him to. Hahha. Ahh, can't wait to see him in December!

Come back soon okay, Travis? =)

Blackhole.

2009-01-07T18:24:00.000+08:00

I think my emotions have sort of went overdrived. Cause lately, every little thing provokes me. Even the littlest things can get me into the state of delirium. It's either delight/despair, emo/high, or i'm-super-happy-so-join-in-the-fun/shut-the-fuck-up-asshole. Emotions are at its extreme. I can't say I've never felt like this before cause I do. And in addition to that, it gets me even incensed when I don't even know what's the possible probable cause of all this.

Sigh.

I think the starting of school is getting onto me. And the uncompleted holiday assignments. And also, the fact that there's a whole lot of things that needs to be done before A's resumes. Ya ya spare me the whole its-only-the-beginning-of-the-year-and-that-you'll-have-plenty-of-time shit. Cause frankly speaking, it doesn't have the slightest bit of comfort. I'm thinking ahead and I can't help it so shoot me.

There are certain things I have set my mind to do, but it just doesn't happen. Shoot me man, shoot me.

Sigh.

Hyelp!

2009-01-02T23:54:00.000+08:00

I'm freaking out. I'm freaking myself out.
I need to talk to someone,

Fast.

Happy 2009.

2008-12-31T22:00:00.001+08:00

I can't believe how fast it has been now that the year 2008 will end in just a matter of hours. Unlike last year, there is much to be hype about. I'm being optimistic, see? Hahha.

Looking back, the year 2008 is the most significant year in my life. And I dare say it's the best year ever for me so far, even special. A lot has happened, a lot has changed. Every single event this year has changed me, opened my eyes, and made me wiser in a way I could never described using just mere words. I found myself (somehow I think I do haha), and I met a whole bunch of new people, friends that I cherished now. Aside from all the stress and drama, life in year 2008 was admittedly great. That, I could not deny.

I must say, the coming year is rather predictable. With the stress and chaos screaming "A Level is coming!", how could it not be? Hardwork, effort, discipline, patience, stress, insanity, the many coming breakdowns, frustrations, lethargy, and strength. I'm more or less expecting these in the new year. Well, I hope so cause this means I'm studying my ass off. Hahhaha. It's gonna be hard, I know. But I believe I'm gonna survive. Hell with believe, I know I'm gonna survive. With the wonderful people around me that got my back and to always spur me on, there's no doubt about it.

Well, I'm very much anticipating the arrival of the new year. Cause I know the year 2009 is the 'Make it or Break it' year. There is bound to be challenges and obstacles, but with the help of God, I hope to overcome them easily, one by one. We shall just wait and see, no?

And also like last year, I'm gonna skip the new year resolution thing again since like I said, 99.9% most of the time no one, and I mean no one, ever sticks to it. Seriously man, why come up with resolutions at the start of every new year and getting all disappointed and all grumpy at every end of the year when you don't accomplish it all?

Ahh, humans. That has got to be the answer cause hey, we are the most complex creatures in the universe. Hahahahhaha.

Alright then. Happy 2009 friends! May the coming year brings us love, luck, health, happiness and prosperity. And also everything that we wished for. And may it be a much better year for you, friend. God willing. =)

Seven.

2008-12-24T23:59:00.004+08:00

As seen from the peektures above, picnic with the seven lovely BPPS girlfriends on tuesday at the Singapore Botanic Garden. And yessa, I had a blast with alllll of you ah!!

From morning,
Gossips. Shocks. Delicious food. Snaps. Jumpshots. Peektures. Frisbee. UNO. Lying on the grass. Cute caucasian boys playing soccer. Got hit by ball. "Sorry!" in a very heavy, thick accent. More peektures. Wild dogs roaming. Friendly fellow picnic people. More food. Again, more peektures. More gossips, leading to more shocks.
Finally evening, and out of there.

Hahhahahaha.

There you go, a simplified summary of our wondeful and definately successful picnic. I'm stumped for words to describe the picnic outing. Even though we practically spent the whole day there, it feels as if we stayed there for only a few hours. Time passes by when you're having fun. All I can say is that I'll be looking forward to the next one girls!

On a side note, just being totally random,
I rather have a couple of close intimate friends by my side than having a wide social circle whom you really can't fall on and depend on in life. And hell yea, fact is they are hard to find. I'm glad I have you guys, whoever you are. (:

Alright, i'm zonked.
More peektures in Facebook.
Or in my online album when I do upload em.

Merry Christmas to all.

High and low.

2008-12-17T01:01:00.005+08:00

(F.A.W.)

Met up with the two S18 darlings. Well technically, there were suppose to be four more people but they pangseh us last minute. Tsk, it's their loss. Anyway, I had a really great time catching up with both girls on almost everything since we last met in almost a year ago. Only god knows what we did that day man. =D

Sigh. I kind of miss the PAE times in Millennia though. Even though the fun only lasted for a few weeks, but hey memories are still alive babeh. Hahha. Ah well, everything has to move on.

Anyhoo, we watched 'The day the Earth stood still' cause I insisted so since I wanna see how hot Keanu Reeves looks now. Not bad, but nonetheless not as hot as during his younger days. Hahahha. Apart from that, the movie was kinda predictable I guess. Abrupt ending though. And hey, where is the romance? I'ld expect some since it's Keanu man.

On a sidenote, there's a new edition to my familia. I must say, I love brother's new car! So cool man! He better fetch me to school in his super duper ultra cool black Lancer EX Sports. To and fro, either way, cause I really don't care as long as he drives man. Hahahha.

Alright, one more snapshot before I go.
Ciao.

Out with barney.

2008-12-13T10:36:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, Barney and I round up Bugis Street in search of whatever we were searching for. Hahha. And then we went for a movie but before that, we saw something interesting while having lunch in LJS.

And voila, this was what we saw.
You can ignore the big purple head there. Hahahahah.

Clearly from the look of Barney's face, she was err delirious for god knows what. I have such weird friends. Hahahahahah. And as for that blue underwear, no comments man. I don't know what's worse, buttcrack or blue grandma underwear. Hahahha. Everyone should know that the colour black and blue doesn't go together. Somebody should tell that to her.

I feel mean. Not that I wasn't before. Hahahha.
Alright, whose next? =D

Four.

2008-12-11T22:16:00.000+08:00

A day out with the three gorgeous ex-classmates of mine. It's been a long time since we hang out ever since all of us got separated and stuff. Come to think of it, I kinda miss the 0723D days. So yes, I had a great time catching up with them. Movie and dinner at Fish and Co., couldn't get any better. But it's too bad we did little camwhoring though. Hahha.

Moving on to today, went swimming with the cousins and aunt at CSC. I, for one, was never a swimming enthusiast. So I went for the sake of going and guess what I got in return? Only getting darker by the minute. Technically my fault(urgh) for not smothering myself with any sun block. But nevertheless, suprisingly I had fun. So, not too bad luhh.

Alright, looking forward to the many other outings planned. How I wish money can grow on trees now. Monaaaayy, I want monaaaaay! Gimme the cash man. Sigh.

Date with barney tomorrow. Don't worry, I'll bring the cam to take peektures of your purple head! Hahhaha. =D

Saturday.

2008-12-07T22:25:00.002+08:00

I feel sick. The annoyingly stubborn splitting headache is back. And in addition to that, my upper body aches. My right arm, especially. House chores was, literally, a freaking aching chore in the state that I am currently in!

But nevertheless, I had fun (as always) yesterday at one of the Zaza's crib. And I think all the aching has got to do with playing the Nintendo Wii. Hahahha. The tennis game was real alright, and as for boxing, it was thrillingly tiring! Never have I used that much energy and power to punch air. Yes, air. I think it would have been better to punch a punching bag instead cause seriously, we looked retarded man punching air! Thank god the supposedly hot caucasion neighbour is nowhere to be seen to witness the insanity we were in. You should see the boxing video I took while they play man. Hahahahahah. This shall be our weekly thing girls!

And yes, I'm still in the twilight craze. And I think I'm becoming obsessed about it. I'm even thinking of starting a book club discussion. Hahhaha, okay so not. It's not helping that the Zaza's too are in the obsession. Ah well, I just can't wait for the 18th. I'll watch the movie at least twice in the theater. Screw Kristin Steward, I'm innit for Rob Pattinson, cause seriously her role as Bella suck balls man! Now don't get me started on that discussion again man. Pft.

Alright, I can feel the fatigue sinking in deeper. Before I go, here's a snapshot of the 'Brownie and Ice-cream' dessert we made yesterday. I felt like some skilled dessert chef while excitedly splurting out the chocolate syrup all over the plate. One of the many frivolous childhood dreams of mine uh. Hahhaha.

Danger.

2008-12-02T14:51:00.000+08:00

There is something,
I see in you,
It might kill me,
I want it to be true.

Lesson learnt.

2008-11-29T16:37:00.002+08:00

Never, ever, ever ever ever infinity times ever, get out of the house on the first day of the time of the month. Because it certainly almost made me faint on the road yesterday. That's how bad the pain was. Excruciating man.

Anyhoo, thanks to barney the stalker for sending me the countless Paramore songs I wanted. Don't deny it, you stalker. Hahhhaha.

Alright, the book is calling me.
Ciao.

The 26th.

2008-11-26T22:07:00.004+08:00

It's a little slow, well okay a lot slower, but right now I got myself into the Twilight frenzy. Hahha. I can't wait to get the whole series. And i certainly can't wait for the movie to start screening here. Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen? I must say, seductively intriguing. Hahha.

Anyhoos, outing with the Zazas was fun as usual. And I'm looking forward to the many outings already scheduled with the relevant people. And yes, guilty as charged cause I shamefully have not yet started on my revision. Hehe.

More peektures here.
Alright, much loves.

Double vision.

2008-11-21T00:59:00.005+08:00

This song is in my head, on repeat mode.
Clearly, i've lost control somewhere or whatsoever.

But anyhoo, I must say that the Kaulitz twin are indeed adorable.
Okay, not. I mean hot. Wooo.

I feel.

2008-11-19T19:58:00.001+08:00

Someone, please get all the butterflies out of my stomach.
Thank you.

Requiem.

2008-11-15T23:29:00.000+08:00

Girl by default

The gig was alright I guess, even though we screwed up a few songs. We should have just stick to Paramore man. Hahhaha. Nevertheless, what matters is that each and every one of us had fun performing. It was indeed tiring, but I enjoyed every minute of it. I'll never forget how nervous all of us were backstage. Lol.

Alright, few more peektures up ahead!

Busy week.

2008-11-10T23:08:00.002+08:00

It's paradoxical to say that this week is gonna be a very busy week since it's already the start of the school holiday. With the three-day Adam Khoo workshop that lasts practically the whole day from 8am to 9pm, and also the band's virgin gig on friday(the gig is called Requiem, any other interested parties can still get the tix from me), I must say it will be one heck of a hectic week!

So to the BPPS girlfriends, planning for outings may begin for the next week. Think of something okay. Tell me which days you're free, and I'll set the date. I can't wait to meet you gobos. Hahhah.

And, alas! Congrats to all those who got themselves promoted! Don't be too happy about it okay cause you've just sign the contract to hell. Hahhahha. Alright, alright. I'll be optimistic. Let's all start working our ass off for next year then! And yes, I'm super delighted for the clique of fourteen in my class that got themselves promoted as well. I'm glad that everyone of you made it. Let's work hard okay guys!

And to those who did not make it, don't fret. I have gone through that very same path. It was indeed a rough journey but a short one at that, and definitely the most fulfilling when you get the next result slip. Do not be discouraged, afterall it's just another setback. Seriously, it's not that bad. Trust me. =)

And hell yeah, I'm happy to say that as of today, my exclusive Pegasus membership had already expired. Heh.

Much loves.

Past, and present.

2008-11-02T23:03:00.003+08:00

My favourite song ever, right up till now. Can we play this song boys?
Pretty pleaseeeeee? =)

Meanwhile, I'll have to learn to love The Last Song by Mcfly. Hahhaha.

Fun.

2008-11-01T17:45:00.003+08:00

A day out with Pamela darling on thursday was super fun. Watched Tropic thunder and I must say, it was funny indeed. When there's Ben Stiller and Jack Black, you can count on plenty of humour. And and yes, I finally managed to convinced my dear friend that the bald guy in the movie is actually Tom Cruise when the credits came rolling. Hahha.

Following that, I tried to hunt for a pair of sandals at Charles and Keith, but none were flattering enough to grab my attention. Then we headed to Swensens for dinner, the first time ever i could not finish the meal there. Then there was that cute cheena waiter that got Pam annoyed for not knowing his name, and the short NUM guy at cine. Fascinating. Hahhha.

And I met Ivan and Alvin! Long time never see them man. Catch up a bit, kinda weird though. Hahha. We have to go hang out soon you guys! =)

And then, yesterday jamming with the boys at the usual place. We seriously need alot more practise before our band gig on the 14th. Anyone interested to go? Admission five bucks at Kallang I think. Sigh, and I'm not excited just yet. Four songs baby, I just hope my voice can make it. Ahhhhh.

And oh, have I mentioned? School's over man. Which means I'm free. Which means slack time. Which means adshfgyu! Hahhah. Results out on friday and no one is excited about it.

Alright gotta go cause I've plans tonight. BBQ birthday party sort of at Aunt's place later. And oh, helping Barney with Geog tomorrow. Sweet.

BNDBNDBNDBND! SUPER DUPER CUTE CAN?! HEARRRT. =)

Heart, mind, body and soul.

2008-10-30T23:59:00.003+08:00

Just when I slipped you out of my head,
you came crawling back in.

Everyday.

2008-10-29T18:18:00.010+08:00

(Ignore Harry at the back, and Qi's stoning face. lol)

(J.A.V.A.)

I can't believe I watched HSM3 when I vowed not to do so earlier in the year when I saw the movie poster in the theater. Reason behind it was because, well technically, the thought of paying the tix to watch it is pretty dumb. But well, i had to eat those words man cause I must say, the movie was great. Especially the company, every single one of them.

After the movie, we headed to Macs for dinner. And you know what? There I made, no all of us present there, made a startling revelation - that Amanda, the Captain of all Bimbos(I mean cheerleeding), is really living up to her title. Being the captain of all bimbos that is. Cause when we start our round of Yo Momma jokes, well she failed badly.

Here a few excerpt from the Yo Momma jokes the bimbo made herself:

Yo Momma so dumb, when she walked into Starbucks she read Starfucks.

Yo Momma so fat, when she ride the roller coaster, she breaks it.

Yo Momma so black, when you turn off the lights in the room, you still don't see her. (?)

Yo Momma so fat, when she jump into a swimming pool, she made a big hole! (??)

The way she told those jokes was daaaammnn funny man. Not the jokes, it's her that's funny. Her bimboism. Followed by her sudden loud erupted laughter like a hyena. And she did it again during lunch today. And her attempt at another round of Yo Momma. Hahha. And yes, you can't beat me at Yo Momma jokes girl. I'm way too good at that. But still, we love you bimbo! =)

Three in a row.

2008-10-24T15:53:00.004+08:00

How fortunate can I get? From A to H, to another A. As if one is not enough, there's additional two more. Three in a row. When I saw the first one, I went "Shit". And and when I saw the consecutives, I went "Holy shit".

Like what one of bimbo's said, "Dam you, damn it". Hahha. (Inside joke)
Hilarious man. Ahhhhh.

Moronic irony.

2008-10-22T11:59:00.003+08:00

You know what's funny? Teaching my cousins english when my language is already kind of deteriorating. The grammar, vocabulay part i mean. Math is my forte, not english!

And you know what's even funnier? The fact that both of my siblings are actual english language teachers. Muahahha.

Okay fine.
Not funny moron.

Interesting.

2008-10-21T11:59:00.001+08:00

It's kind of scary finding out that there's actually people reading my archives.
Hahhaha.

Yes, yes you. Lol.

The kids.

2008-10-21T11:46:00.000+08:00

Every morning I stumbled from my bed, slowly getting ready for school while dreading for it too with the thought of how long the day is gonna get at the back of my head. And of course, the mere thought of the ceaseless lectures and what not did not help either.

But there's one thing that keeps me going. That kind of yanks me out of my bed and head on to school. No, not my mom's persistent nagging, and neither is it the early bird programme(beats me) for being late of sorts. It's the people in school that I can't wait to see. I can't wait to talk to, to joke with and have plain fun. It's the kids in school that makes every single day of my life, for the past few months, rather satisfying, fulfilling, and absolutely entertaining. Everyone of them is such wondrous individual and I can't bear to part with any.

What I'll like these kids to know is that I appreciate you all soo very much. You guys do mean alot to me and I really do hope this could continue on till next year. And I do mean everyone of us(not the weirdos uh, haha).

What can I say kids? I just plain love you guys from the bottomest pithole of my heart. Hahha. And i just want you all to know that I am sooooo fucking glad that I get to know each and every one of you. I'm serious. You guys are kind of like my life in Innova.

To the other bunch of kids I know especially my ex-classmates in school whose taking their A's in a couple of weeks time, good luck with A's okay. Make sure you guys get alot of 'A's also. I'm behind you guys all the way! =)

And finally to the kids outside school, namely the Zaza's whose taking their A's also, a very big fat good luck to you guys too! And to the both of you, I MISS YOU GUYS LIKE A GAZILLION TIMES INFINITY. I know you guys are studying really damn hard right now so that's why I'm being a super duper good friend to not disturb you both now. HAHA. But I miss you both alot uhhhh. So make sure when you are done having a ball while doing your A's, YOU BETTER MAKE PLANS WITH ME EVERY SINGLE DAY! And I mean it. =D

Alright, that's all from me.
Much loves.

Fix it.

2008-10-11T23:55:00.004+08:00

Then i hear you say, "Let's live for the moment, this time".
Why don't you just make up, your goddamn mind?

Bimbo-ism.

2008-10-10T13:14:00.000+08:00

House bunny with barney last week was super. I laughed throughout the entire movie. Somehow I admit, can relate a little. Afterall, I'm surrounded by alot of bimbos(HAHA I know you guys are reading this!). And Barney, you better shuttup about what happen at the movie counter. All I can say is that it was the pre-movie effects. Hahha.

Relieved.

2008-10-07T22:39:00.002+08:00

I am somewhat relieved.
That's all to that, for now.

Let's see. Lots of activities to do, lots of time. Like for the first time, I don't even know where to begin. Hahhaha. Maybe start clearing up my study table, finish up raya visiting, then on to send fix my stupid laptop that just recently C to the R to the ASHED (acer sucks balls! like seriously, of all the times it had to die on me). Then can I begin my Gossip Girl marathon, as well as my korean dramas! Ouh ouh and movies! Woohoo!

And I think I'm finally gonna start doing something I had in mind for a very long time.

Alright, much loves.

Motivation.

2008-09-16T21:35:00.003+08:00

To all my female counterparts (or gays even whoever you are) who are either busy studying for promos or A's, here's a picture to motivate you even further.

What can i say? Is he hot or what?
That's it, Mike Lewis is love. <3

Okay, bye.

Hi-atus.

2008-09-13T20:48:00.006+08:00

"It's make or break,
do or die."

My choice.
Bye folks.

Breath.

2008-09-12T21:21:00.003+08:00

This week has been a notoriously unfortunate week in the history of my life. I feel as if i'm the unluckiest person on the surface of the earth right now.

First things first, my zen is refusing to cooperate with me in delivering my daily dose of music. Next, i have an unreasonable person to deal with. In addition to that, i'm left with two more weeks to my best friend's wedding called promos. And now? I lost my god damn phone. A necessity, which i myself did not realise it was in a first place.

Stress is not the only word. I woud like to add a pinch of frantic, and a handful of hysteric to that. I should have trusted my instinct. I knew something bad was gonna happen considering my delirium state throughout the morning(cause i believe in balance you see).

Well, even though how ugly things went, I believe things happen for a reason cause afterall it's the fasting month.

Sigh. I need a breather.

Justice is not served yet.

2008-09-10T19:16:00.001+08:00

Disappointed. That's what I felt, disappointed. After all the effort done, even to the slightest detail. I tried to prove myself wrong, hoping to see the positive side of people. You saw my creativity flowing. The points I tried to put across. The hours spent, yes hours, on it. I admit, I was sort of looking forward to it. The least you could have done was to acknowledge the effort I had painstakingly put in, but no.

I was right. You justified my very opinion.

Maybe i'm exaggerating. Maybe i'm too sensitive, jumping onto conclusion of sorts. You know what they say, we are not born with prejudices. It's what we learnt. It's what we were taught.

Practice what you preach. It's your profession. Perhaps I'll see it in a different light then.

Overwhelmed.

2008-09-08T21:29:00.002+08:00

There is soo much things left to do, but soo little time.
I must stay positive.

Emotion.

2008-09-06T22:10:00.003+08:00

I can't focus.
I hate you.

Let go.

2008-09-04T23:44:00.001+08:00

I hate being sick. Especially when you get all of it at the same shot. Fever, flu, sore throat, cough. So you can imagine how colourful are the prescribed meds. And the thing is, after taking the meds, it'll make me feel drowsy. And when i feel drowsy, i can't do my work. And when i can't do my work, what's gonna happen to my assignments! It's not just gonna lie on the table and complete itself without me lifting my precious fingers.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

In addition to that, my laptop's fixed. And you know what that means.
I ought to slap myself, really.

Oh and yes, Jason Mraz is love.<3

Miracle.

2008-09-01T22:48:00.003+08:00

Omg. Unexpectedly, my wish sort of came true.
Not the geog one uh, i wish. Beyond my wildest dream(HAHA), he appeared out of nowhere.

Uh huh.
Hahahahhahhahhahah.

I'm in delirium.
I MUST tell someone.

=)))))))

Oh and yea, on a random note, i miss the Zazas. And Amira the Barney you too, if you're reading this. Hahahhah. Good luck for your prelims guys!

Alright, back to reality.
Ciao.

Help.

2008-08-31T09:42:00.002+08:00

Dear god, please magically fill in all those monstrous geography concepts, into this stubborn head of mine. And also, please diminish my growing hatred for it too. In addition to that, please please please materialised bnd in front of me. I would really love that, although that would totally creep me out. Hahhaha.

I believe in miracle. For geog please, ignore the rest. =)

Mixed.

2008-08-30T21:14:00.001+08:00

I can never understand this certain group people. Sometimes they're seemingly nice, and the next, literally trying to bite your heads off. Also, coming up to you when there's nobody left, and ignoring you for some lame reasons. Like a tool, use it when needed, discard it when it's of no use. I abhor such behaviours. I really do.

On a much lighter note, a very Happy Teacher's Day to all my teachers whoever and wherever you are. I really am thankful to you for making a difference in my life in one way or another. Thank you, YOU. =D

And i think teacher's day is a very significant day in my household cause hey, there's 3 teachers in the house! Happy Teacher's Day to them too. Hahhaha.

Noise.

2008-08-10T12:39:00.003+08:00

Omg. When is it gonna stop.
It's soo freaking noisy.
It's not helping that the library's close either.
Of all the time in the world. Argh.

On a lighter note, movie with Zazas on friday was great.
And hell yes, The Dark Knight was awesome as expected. I know, slow right. Even though it's two weeks since it first released here, it's still sold out. And again as expected also, the late Heath Ledger had put up a superb performance of his role as the Joker. I kinda get it why he needs all those sleeping pills he overdosed. Damn, he was one of my favourite actors. I sure will miss seeing his act on the screen.

Alright, till then.

Annoyed.

2008-08-04T20:32:00.002+08:00

I am super duper annoyed. Annoyed to a level which i myself am unaware of that there's a higher level of annoyance. And this is not even close to any fucking pre menstrual syndrome. Non of it all.

And the thing is, i'm not feeling this way because of schoolwork or some issues i'm suppose to be worried of. There's just this bugging feeling at the back of my head for a few weeks now. Similar to a stubborn phlegm that doesn't even want to come out. It's annoying, highly annoying. And i can't seem to numb this feeling except covering it up with fake smiles and hyper active enthusiasm.

And when i'm annoyed, provoke is the last thing you would want to do. Like that bitch today. What's your deal man?

I believe in balance.
And today, was just not my day.

Weekends.

2008-08-02T19:17:00.010+08:00

Spent great quality time with my BPPS buds at Mind Cafe last saturday. It has been a loooong time since i last saw all of them and yes from what i've expected, pretty much all of them are all grown up. I had a very splendid time and hope that the next meeting, most of whom can't make it for the previous, will be able to make it the next time.

"It's INNOVA luh!"

And as for the Batam OCIP trip i have with the classmates few weeks back, let's just say i had a really wonderful time interacting with the kids at orphanage followed by shopping at the Mega mall. And of course, bonding with the ever loving classmates of mine. A weekend well spent. =)

I guess the leisure time during weekends will have to be on hold now cause i have a 20-hour study schedule for every weekend to commit to. Crazy right? That's what my tutor convinced us to do.

Oh and yes, out of total randomness, today one of the Zaza's said i'm tanned.
Since when sia? That was very random you know. Hahha.

Alright till then, ciao.

To the BND,
I'm motivated to study,
after seeing you already! :)

Emotion.

2008-07-11T19:56:00.002+08:00

I still feel as if i were thrown deep into the abyss of confusion. I can't seem to sort out my emotions, let alone able to express it verbally with the appropriate words. Pain, discontent, unfullfillment, regret. That is currently the exact mixture in my mind.

Where is myself?

Paranoid android.

2008-07-05T19:20:00.008+08:00

I'm overwhelmed by the tons of work that needs to be done. Assignments, revisions, readings, memorising. It's really testing my patience. Plus, the mixed feelings i've been harboring lately is not helping either. Paranoia, stress, agitation, lethargy. Mostly paranoia.

Ahhh. I want a vacation. Sigh.

Oh and yes, i absolutely have to talk about this particular incident when i watch 'Wanted' with the Zazas. Apparently while on the way back to our seat after getting our drinks, i had accidently step on someones laptop. Yes, you got that right. Well, at first i thought i stepped on some thick file. How would i know that the thing i stepped on was a laptop?

Come on, you tell me. Which idiot would put her own laptop in front of her feet while sitting stupidly at the aisle seat, in a super dark cinema where nobody can see what the hell is on the floor? Okay, lemme give her the benefit of the doubt. Even if she was such an idiot to put it there, when you see that people are trying to walk past you to their seats, isn't it logical to carry your laptop first and then let the people get back to their seats? Cause hey, we have no super light vision to see if there's something on the floor and avoid what we're about to step on you know.

And so, unfortunately when i walk past them i heard a distinct cracking sound under my sole. I went to my seat and told one of the Zazas about it. Then that's when i saw the lady try open her laptop to see if its damaged or not. And well, here's our brief exchange.

Man: "Excuse me, do you know that you've just stepped on my girlfriend's laptop?"
Me: (obviously clueless about it, well trying to be anyway. hahha, bitch i know)
"Is it? I don't know. I know i stepped on something but it's soo dark i didn't see anything."

Hahhaha. Well hey, it wasn't my fault her girlfriend's dumb enough to put her laptop on the floor, where people can actually step on it. And eventually, the laptop worked fine. If both were to come to me for compensation or shits, i'll flip. Literally.

Alright then, gotta get back to my unceasing workload. =)

Playtime's over yo.

2008-06-28T23:00:00.005+08:00

At last i finally get my hands on a decent laptop with a workable keyboard. My notebook is working fine despite the fact that i accidentally poured milk all over the keyboard. That explains why when you talk to me on msn i'll have to reply your messages on handwritten ink. To make matters worse, my notebook is not even a tablet pc. And again it explains the devoid of posts. It sucks big time yo. Have to send it for repair soon.

On a side note, i must and have to get a hold of my language, my grammar! It's getting atrocious and i'm running out of vocabs. This might sound illogical but my lack of blogging seem to have an effect on it too. I need a keyboard! I need to type! Grrgghhfffsshhhrrrgg.

Alot has been happening since the past few weeks. School has been hectic. Assignments have been piling. I am still as confused to whatever i'm suppose to be confused about. Oh and as much as i hate to say this, i will pledge to the nerd society. Books, books, and more books to read. And library visits too. Sigh.

Alright. Playtime's over yo.
Playtime's over.

Untitled.

2008-06-02T12:17:00.002+08:00

Swiss trip cancelled. Prolly have it in december.
Cos now daddy's been warded in hospital.
I really do hope everything will be alright pop, God willing.

Next stop.

2008-05-25T18:23:00.003+08:00

To the next stop in about two weeks time.
Interlaken, Switzerland.

I hope what i'll see there is something similar like the above pic.
I'm soo gonna take gazillions of photos there!

Alright, take me away from the hot sunny climate in Singapore! =D

Juni.

2008-05-24T23:25:00.000+08:00

All hail the holidays! It's finally here. Come to think of it, it's rather fast that half the year has gone by. I mean, it feels as if yesterday was the first day of school.

Anyway, we got Bronze for Drama SYF. Not too bad considering we only started to rehearse exactly two and a half weeks before the real day. In addition to that, we kinda screwed up our stage setting because of that particular idiot which shall not be named. Wrong place to place the bench, and that's it. Everyone was great though, minus the dark bench scene.

Overall, it was a great experience. I'll never ever forget the neverending rehearsals. And i think i'll miss our instructor, the one calling me promiscuous for having two husbands. Hahha. Inside joke.

And next, theres the summer test. It's finally done. This year, the schools smart enough to have it before the hols unlike last year. Soo now i have the rest of june hols to myself! Muahaha.

Okay, i'm getting back to my rotting-at-home-and-watching-all-movies-and-korean-dramas. Hahha. Like i said earlier, i have the whole of june hols to myself. Hokay, minus the last week or so for the necessary school work and stuff. Lol.

Oh and yes people, where are you all? Ask me out quick! =D

asdf.

2008-05-20T00:21:00.004+08:00

stressedanddepressed,
worstcombinationever.
pressureshigh,toooverwhelming.
justtoooverwhelming.

iwassilly,youwereplainrude.
isaidsorry,butyou'reinabadmood.
nowimdespondent,andhellavupissed.

thankyousomucheh.
youtotally"made"myday.
pfft.

period.

My moon.

2008-05-09T22:07:00.005+08:00

As i alighted the bus and look up to the dark sky, i was captivated.
The moon, at that moment, it looked soo beautiful.
Soo peaceful and serene.
Same goes for the night before.

I've seriously no idea why,
but i think it sort of reminded me of somebody.
Like everyday is not enough.

Can you make your way,
out of my head?
Cause i tried to do so.
But the stubborn you,
just refuses to.
My moon, my fair fair moon.

Panadol - Crushcrushcrush

2008-04-26T16:23:00.008+08:00

WARNING. My friend took the video with her cam and apparently her camera couldn't capture the sound that much. Can lah but not so clear. So all you could hear is alot of disturbances and people screaming. But still, thank you Tanty-liner. Love you. Hahha.

And unfortunately, there isn't any photos taken during performance cause apparently, my dear friends were too captivated to even take a single snapshot. Hahha. So there you go, i can only provide to you a video of our performance.

And look at my guitarist Faris stonning one corner. Hahha.
Anyways, we clinched the 2nd place.
Good job Ryan, Faris, Faiz and Nizam! Had fun rocking with you guys!
The 30 seconds bus ride was definitely worth it. Hahha! =D

Oh and yea, check out the hair. Credits goes to the two gorgeous bimbos, Vanessa and Amanda, for doing up my rockstar-ish hair at the last minute. They were like some professional stylist backstage. Hahha. Everyone loved the hair girls.
Oh and speaking of backstage, only the guys knew how friggin nervous i was backstage. LOL.

Alrighty then. Thanks to the people who supported us especially to my class for screaming the "HEY!" part with me. Hahha.
Enjoy the video. =)

Crushcrushcrush.

2008-04-16T22:46:00.007+08:00

Next week is gonna be a blast.
Just hope i'll not choke and shiver when i see the crowd.
Or even stand stiff like a dead fish! Hmpf.

Hahhahahha.

Don't speak.

2008-04-06T17:24:00.005+08:00

What do you expect me to do,
Spell it all out for you?

I get soo emo singing to No Doubt's Don't speak. Hmpf. =/

Sexy Egypt.

2008-03-29T20:08:00.036+08:00

Egypt is sexy. And the egyptian guys there are sexy too.

Hahha, seriously.

My whole trip was awesome. And i must say, Egypt is one of the countires that is rich in their historical past and culture. All the time, i was captivated by the facts that our tour guide educates us with. Egypt is, by far, the most interesting place i've been to. I've learnt alot from this trip. And i would certainly love to come back again to this beautiful country.

First up we went to Sakkara, where the magnificent Giza Pyramids and the Great Sphinx are. They are absolutely ginormous! Well, i didn't know that the pyramids are that huge until i saw it with my own two eyes. The Sphinx too. Hahha. It's soo cool how the Sphinx is located in front of the three pyramids. It's been said that the Sphinx is there to protect the pyramids. Cool stuff. FYI, there's alot of pyramids in Cairo. But we only visited the Giza Pyramid complex since it's the most popular among the tourist and it's one of the Seven Wonders of the World.

Took a whole lot of photos - close to 900 snapshots for the whole trip. You must think it's crazy, but hey, when will i come back again to egypt sia? Hahha. Anyway words cannot further describe the magnificent pyramids. I shall upload few of the photos of it here.

Next up is the city of Alexandria - the second largest city in Egypt. And definitely, in my opinion, the most beautiful of them all. If you read up about the history of this city, you'll be rather intrigue. In Alexandria, we've visited the Citadel of Qaitbay, the ancient Roman Amphitheater, Pompey's Pillar, Montaza Palace, Catacombs of Kom el Shoqafa, and of course the breath-takingly gorgeous Mediterranean Sea. First time i saw it i went, "Oh my god!". It's just wow man. Lol. And as for the Catacombs, cool shit man! Although it's eerie and all but still cool man.

Back to Cairo, visited the Eqptian Museum. This is where i saw real mummies! It was cool man. Some of the mummies look friggin scary. Some looked at ease while a few looked rather unsettled in a position whereby their hands are crossed over their chest, but not resting on the chest. So their hands are like practically mid-air. And i got saw this mummy with white hair. Serious man. There's still hair left! Hahha. But my geog teacher told me that the big shot mummies are not the ones i saw. They're at the Britains Museum i think. Hmpf.

Apart from that, we visited alot of mosques in Cairo such as the Mosque of Muhammad Ali, Mosque of Amr ibn al-As, and a few more names i can't remember. I really love the flawless architecture of this particular mosque. It's soo well constructed. The designs are like mixed Greek-like designs. I'm even more inspired now to go into architecture after seeing the meticulous designs of the mosque.

Last of all, dinner at the Aquarius Nile cruise ship. Admiring the city by night while having our dinner. And of course there was entertainment- Sufi dancing, live band singing and of course the most famous of them all, the belly dancing! Hahha. I'll never forget that part.

Oh, and of course that cute waiter who says some arabic words that i unfortunately do not understand, and the word 'cakey' to me at the dessert table when i pointed at this strange-looking cake and ask him what was it. Hahha. Totally cute like Wentworth Miller with a more sharper arabic features. Lol. Should have taken a photo with him. Sigh. Regret, regret.

Oh speaking of cute egyptian guys, there was this one incident whereby i was in the van looking out the window and i saw this not-bad-quite-cute egyptian guy along the busy streets of Alexandria, where all the bazaars were. The van was stationary due to some traffic. And so, at a distance, that same guy saw me in the van, waved, lifted up his hand and pointed to his left ring finger, to me. He was trying to say something, but i couldn't fathom what the hell the fella was saying. And so, seeing my puzzled expression, he told me to call my tour guide, Miral, who was sitting right next to me.

When she saw the action that the guy did, she laughed.

Then she said, "He asks to marry you!".
I looked at her, and laughed. Hahha, what the hell.

And so, this is the summarised version of my Egypt trip. If you wanna hear more about it, come see me personally and i'll tell you every detail there is to know. Lol.

Alright, i'll end here with some snapshots from my Egypt trip! If you wanna see most of the photos, see my Friendster/Facebook. Okay, enjoy viewing. =)

Arigato.

2008-03-11T13:40:00.005+08:00

"Haaaaaapppppyyyy 18th Biiiirrrrrttttthhhhhddddaaaaaayyyyy!!!! With love, guess who! :D"

I'm legal! Yeah baby. Hahha.

Anyway, thanks for the well wishes friends!
To the lovely bunch of 24A, thank you guys soo much for the suppose-to-be surprise! Lol. I really appreciate it. Love you guys!

And to the "sender" who sent the above sort-of-surprise delivery, thank yous!

I love you both truckloads okay. Meet me next week straight after your papers and i'll continue my story! Teehee.

Urgh. I feel old already. Hahha.

Okay then, 4 more hours till my flight.

Adios amigos! =D

Oh happy day.

2008-03-08T19:34:00.002+08:00

Soccer after school with the fun people. What can i say? Fun is the word. Lol.
We should make this a weekly thing fellas. And have i mention this before? I absolutely LOVE the class. Hahha.

Bumped into the Zazas few days ago. I'm telling ya, it's fate man. Because it has been a while since i last saw them. And of all places. Hahha.

Alrighty. I better go pack my stuff. I'm only three days away before i fly off. And my flights at 6. I'll only be back on sunday night. Plus i have tons of assignment and self-revision to do. I guess i'll bring some over to Egypt uh. Lol. Confirm on the following monday i'll be jet-lagged man.

Okay then. See ya when i get back. Ciao. =D

Random facts.

2008-02-24T00:36:00.003+08:00

I almost had a cardiac last night when i realised Vanessa really wasn't lying about the posting. Truth be told, i thought that girl was bluffing me until she said,
"I swear i'm not lying to you if not i kena hit by a bus".
Hahhaha.

Oh and i realised another thing today. I'm gonna spend 9-12 hours of my eighteen birthday on the flight to Egypt. Wonderfool. But it's okay. SIA plane, my favourite. Besides, i'm flying off at night so i'll still be able to spend my first few hours of being eighteen in Singapore. Lol. =)

By the way, where have the Zazas gone too? I miss these buggers alot. Bullshit soon? Pretty pleaseee?

And oh, 24A outing was a blast. Watched Jumper and i must say, Hayden Christensen is hot. Love the movie and can't wait for the sequel. Hahha. Following that, went pool-ing. We go again okay guys. I wannna beat Alex again. Woohoo! Lol.

Oh and yea, photos will be uploaded once i get my hands on allllll of them. Hee.

And yes finally. Speaking of which, to that particularly big-ego headed person. Can you pleaseee spare us all from that supercilious attitude? Almost all i know hate your guts and that smug look of yours. It's rather appaling you know, trying to act big and all. Pfftt. Some people just don't get it, do they? Goodness. =/